Psychedelic Nursey Rhymes

Way back when, long before I started writing for magazines and websites, I was in a band. Were weren't the best group in the world, but it was a lot of fun and writing songs really helped vent the frustration of being a teenager. Here's a selection of lyrics, written between 1995 and 2000!


CHEMICALS

I woke up from a coma
I find it hard to think
These days I am tired over everything
The pain that I felt is numb
Now I set adrift from your kiss
Self-indulge in my dreams

Chemicals left to waste
But too sour to taste
Colder when I sleep
Too obscure to breathe
Chemicals in my brain make me hard to contain
Cheat myself into dreams
Fall apart at the seams

I am blessed by a curse
Intoxicated
Take a rest from myself and from everything
Open eyes cannot see
Open lungs cannot breathe
I reflect all my schemes
Self-indulge in my dreams

Chemicals left to waste
But too sour to taste
Colder when I sleep
Too obscure to breathe
Chemicals in my brain make me hard to contain
Cheat myself into dreams
Fall apart at the seams

I am not you and I am not me
I am just somewhere in between

Chemicals left to waste
But too sour to taste
Colder when I sleep
Too obscure to breathe
Chemicals in my brain make me hard to contain
Cheat myself into dreams
Fall apart at the seams


TRANQUILITY

I lost my head when I was high
I thought I was going to die
My friends all think that I'm diseased
I have lost my sanity
I crayon dreams inside my head
I know that I was misled
My life's a fucked-up pantomime
With no real storyline

I want to come down from my mind
And leave the world behind
I'm hungover from myself
And I feel nothing else
I'm a spaceman reaching Mars
My head's amongst the stars
I'm in orbit coming home
It's good to be alone

I found one meaning in my life
That had nearly passed me by
All my problems seem to fade
My memory gets misplaced
What's the point in being scared?
We are so self aware
For just a while I'd like to die
To see what it's like

I want to come down from my mind
And leave the world behind
I'm hungover from myself
And I feel nothing else
I'm a spaceman reaching Mars
My head's amongst the stars
I'm in orbit coming home
It's good to be alone

I got lost inside a dream but it all seemed to real
I send my head to outer space
Then I come down again

I want to come down from my mind
And leave the world behind
I'm hungover from myself
And I feel nothing else
I'm a spaceman reaching Mars
My head's amongst the stars
I'm in orbit coming home
It's good to be alone


YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME

She doesn't even care
Pictures fall from off the walls
The answer phone had lied
You never meant to call
The TV says the same
The radio is superficial
The glitter round your eyes
Helped you hide one hundred lies

The candle burns out the pain
Only you and I remain
With sugar it tastes the same
I knew you'd make me take the blame
The ashtray's filling up
Even as we self destruct
Everything seems to stain
Why did we have this conversation?

Nothing matters now
The cigarette is killing time
Your points are trivial
Poisoned in this world of mine
The rain is pouring in
The coffee has been here so long
The video is so blue
It makes me think of times with you

The candle burns out the pain
Only you and I remain
With sugar it tastes the same
I knew you'd make me take the blame
The ashtray's filling up
Even as we self destruct
Everything seems to stain
Why did we have this conversation?

The nature of your hate still dwells
I know your evil ways too well
Time has gone and so has everything
The record's playing our of time again

The candle burns out the pain
Only you and I remain
With sugar it tastes the same
I knew you'd make me take the blame
The ashtray's filling up
Even as we self destruct
Everything seems to stain
Why did we have this conversation?


UTOPIA

Take your time
You're in no hurry
All you want it so be wanted
Same for me but I don't know why
Am I alive or wasted?

Mother said, 'Don't cross the road'
But I have to 'cause I'm feeling fucking bored
In my head my daddy said
'You're the slave and I'm the lord'

I wish I was a dog
Because I could sit around all day
Eat my food and take a walk
And leave the world to play

But I've got to do something
I'm wasting away the years that are worth gold
Soon I won't be in my prime
Soon I'll be too old

Take your time
You're in no hurry
All you want it so be wanted
Same for me but I don't know why
Am I alive?


IMMUNE

Immune to you
You won't get through
You're like a drug I don't need
A parasite feeds off my mind
You are impure
Infect me

Come rescue me
I cannot breathe
I'm suffocating in myself
Inside my dreams I cannot scream
I feel so scared
I need you

Immune to you
You're such a fool
You cannot win
I'll kill you
It hurts to smile
You're in denial
I feel so scared
I need you

Come rescue me
I cannot breathe
I'm suffocating in myself
Inside my dreams I cannot scream
I feel so scared
I need you


AESTHETIC TASTE

What I hate is who I am
I find it hard to be human
Everything is fake
The world is so diseased
Should I even trust my friends?
Will they hurt me in the end?
I built a cage around my mind
And refused to go outside

I am God but so's my idol
I can't get a fix on you
All I want is my sedation
Give me medication
I am God, my own disciple
I'm temptation reaching you
All I want is my salvation
Give me medication

Does it hurt to be yourself?
Wouldn't you be someone else?
It's hard to see everything so clear
Tell me what I want to hear
I will not chase you anymore
I'm feeling like an unloved whore
Who is this that I've become?
Have I come undone?

I am God but so's my idol
I can't get a fix on you
All I want is my sedation
Give me medication
I am God, my own disciple
I'm temptation reaching you
All I want is my salvation
Give me medication


FREAKSHOW

I stare through the dark when I turn out the light
Too many monsters are here through the night
I hide under covers away from the claws
That come up to get me from under the floor
I try not to breathe so I will not get found
From all the creepies that live underground
Hoping my teddies will keep them at bay
And all the nasties will soon go away

Welcome to the freakshow
Come and see yourself inside
Life is what you make it
And we will make it worth your while

I welcome the spiders 'cause they are my friends
I don't mind the rats just as long as they're tame
A monster is hiding right under my bed
I have such a fear that I'll soon wake up dead
Then all the demons will blok out the world
I would try to run but I'm only a girl
I hide from the shadows that chase me at night
Vampires come visit for drinks and a bite

Welcome to the freakshow
Come and see yourself inside
Life is what you make it
And we will make it worth your while

I'm unable to pray because I'm so afraid
I know now for certain that God went away
The breeze through the window makes my skin crawl
I can't get away 'cause my dad locked the door
Under my bed there's a scratching sound
I know all the meanies are still hanging around
I try not to cry so the tears go away
It seems that the evil grows strong every day

Welcome to the freakshow
Come and see yourself inside
Life is what you make it
And we will make it worth your while

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